.015.
[Mentors]
What the fuck is with these animals running around the school? And they've got pets now.
What the fuck is with these animals running around the school? And they've got pets now.
Aug. 28th, 2011
Jul. 21st, 2011
.014.
[Filtered Private to Mentors]
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going.
There's no knowing where we're rowing,
Or which way the river's flowing.
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing,
So the danger must be growing.
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing
'cause the rowers keep on rowing,
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing.
[/Private]
There's no earthly way of knowing
Which direction we are going.
There's no knowing where we're rowing,
Or which way the river's flowing.
Is it raining?
Is it snowing?
Is a hurricane a-blowing?
Not a speck of light is showing,
So the danger must be growing.
Are the fires of hell a-glowing?
Is the grisly reaper mowing?
Yes, the danger must be growing
'cause the rowers keep on rowing,
And they're certainly not showing
Any signs that they are slowing.
[/Private]
Jul. 18th, 2011
.013.
[Filtered Private to Mentors]
Very well, ladies and gentlemen. They've played their hand, now let's earn our paychecks. Report in, if you please.
[...] Option 3, Kelsey.
Very well, ladies and gentlemen. They've played their hand, now let's earn our paychecks. Report in, if you please.
[...] Option 3, Kelsey.
Jul. 16th, 2011
.012.
[Filtered Private to Mentors]
Now that the students are placated, perhaps we could discuss this like reasonable adults.
...Does anyone have ANY idea why the Obelisks are offline?
Now that the students are placated, perhaps we could discuss this like reasonable adults.
...Does anyone have ANY idea why the Obelisks are offline?
Jun. 30th, 2011
.011.
They do say freezing is one of the most peaceful ways to die.
So that's something.
So that's something.
Jun. 19th, 2011
.010.
My seminar will meet tomorrow at nine as scheduled. Unless your soul has been devoured by rampaging creatures from the dungeon dimensions, I would not advise tardiness. If your soul has been devoured by aforementioned dungeon monstrosities, please file Form 17-B with the administration department to avoid academic penalties.
And eternal torment.
And eternal torment.
Jun. 2nd, 2011
.009.
[Locked to Mentors]
...Poker tonight? Say what you like about me, but everyone has fun at Britannia's poker nights. Biggest loser of the night gets a forfeit, as per usual. Forfeit to be decided on by the players, as per usual. First one to forget themselves and drink my vodka gets a broken hand, as per usual.
Renata, would you bring one of those finicky pies that you can do? They are good.
...Poker tonight? Say what you like about me, but everyone has fun at Britannia's poker nights. Biggest loser of the night gets a forfeit, as per usual. Forfeit to be decided on by the players, as per usual. First one to forget themselves and drink my vodka gets a broken hand, as per usual.
Renata, would you bring one of those finicky pies that you can do? They are good.
May. 30th, 2011
.008.
Students of Camulus, please attend carefully.
A new week dawns, and with it comes my latest announcement: as of this week, my new seminar will be commencing. You have -with one or two exceptions- all performed well these past few weeks, and I have been proud of at least two of you on more than one occasion. This is a distinct improvement on last year's effort, but you all still have a very long way to go before you are of a standard to fight in the Tournament. I have also noticed that too many of you are forming meaningful relationships with your classmates. Too many of you are placing the safety and concerns of others above your own advancement. Too many of you, in short, are acting as though you are in high school. You are not in high school. You are in an academy that, in addition to giving you a diploma, also trains in the lethal arts on a daily basis. Students have already died this year, and more will do so: they are the weak, the chaff, the proletariat. You that remain, you are the supermen - you owe them nothing, they only serve to restrict you from reaching your true potential. There still exists in this school a dead weight: students who will never fit within the future that awaits. You owe it to yourselves to weed them out! They do nothing but cheapen your achievements by standing in your shadow and claiming it as their own!
TO THIS END, my seminar is entitled Your Best Friend: Your Worst Enemy. Those of you with enhanced intelligence have likely already divined its meaning, but for the benefit of the Alpha Wolves, I will explain further. You all have grown soft, and complacent. I will change that. In my class, you will fight your friends, your closest loved ones, with the same fury and intensity as you would battle the truest foe. In my class, you will do both over the course of the next few weeks: you may even do both at once. You will endure challenges that would tax even the most heartless, godless creation of the technical 'heroes'. I will sever those bonds of friendship that you hold dear, and in so doing I will give you the tools you need to win this championship.
Let me remind you that the word 'mandatory' is such a strong word, and one that I do my best not to use often - instead I will simply say that my seminar is 'highly recommended' for all seniors, and as Head Mentor for the freshmen I am also opening spots up to the new class. Sophomores and Juniors may apply, but they will require a degree of potential as yet unexhibited by...well, almost all of you.
An addendum: do not feel shame if you cannot stomach the thought of being tested by my lessons: a life of mediocrity and an early death is a small price to pay for not wanting to develop yourselves.
A new week dawns, and with it comes my latest announcement: as of this week, my new seminar will be commencing. You have -with one or two exceptions- all performed well these past few weeks, and I have been proud of at least two of you on more than one occasion. This is a distinct improvement on last year's effort, but you all still have a very long way to go before you are of a standard to fight in the Tournament. I have also noticed that too many of you are forming meaningful relationships with your classmates. Too many of you are placing the safety and concerns of others above your own advancement. Too many of you, in short, are acting as though you are in high school. You are not in high school. You are in an academy that, in addition to giving you a diploma, also trains in the lethal arts on a daily basis. Students have already died this year, and more will do so: they are the weak, the chaff, the proletariat. You that remain, you are the supermen - you owe them nothing, they only serve to restrict you from reaching your true potential. There still exists in this school a dead weight: students who will never fit within the future that awaits. You owe it to yourselves to weed them out! They do nothing but cheapen your achievements by standing in your shadow and claiming it as their own!
TO THIS END, my seminar is entitled Your Best Friend: Your Worst Enemy. Those of you with enhanced intelligence have likely already divined its meaning, but for the benefit of the Alpha Wolves, I will explain further. You all have grown soft, and complacent. I will change that. In my class, you will fight your friends, your closest loved ones, with the same fury and intensity as you would battle the truest foe. In my class, you will do both over the course of the next few weeks: you may even do both at once. You will endure challenges that would tax even the most heartless, godless creation of the technical 'heroes'. I will sever those bonds of friendship that you hold dear, and in so doing I will give you the tools you need to win this championship.
Let me remind you that the word 'mandatory' is such a strong word, and one that I do my best not to use often - instead I will simply say that my seminar is 'highly recommended' for all seniors, and as Head Mentor for the freshmen I am also opening spots up to the new class. Sophomores and Juniors may apply, but they will require a degree of potential as yet unexhibited by...well, almost all of you.
An addendum: do not feel shame if you cannot stomach the thought of being tested by my lessons: a life of mediocrity and an early death is a small price to pay for not wanting to develop yourselves.
May. 21st, 2011
.007.
Filtered Private to Mentors
Furthermore, this post has been password-protected by Dame Serena: theta-level clearance (ie, all mentors) is required to view
I've received a troubling report from my little urchins in the know, out in the field. It would be prudent to keep it between us for now, for reasons that will become apparent - as such, the best time to discuss it would seem to be now, while the students are away. I don't need to tell you that all of this needs to be kept confidential, but I will do anyway: all of this needs to be kept confidential.
The Axiom members who came to visit us for Ranking Week were -without exception- charming, talented and professional. With, it now transpires, one exception. The woman known to us as Sweetleaf is not known as Sweetleaf to Axiom. In fact, she appears not to be known as anything to Axiom: she was not sent under their auspices or with their approval. Quite what this means to us at the minute isn't clear, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't concern me. To hide in plain sight like that, and to fool so many people at once... Admittedly the sting is also personal; nobody was fooled more thoroughly than I by this imposter. Our next questions are: where do we go from here? Can Axiom be trusted? Have we just placed our students into the hands of dangerous and shadowy persons who can hoodwink our greatest posthuman organisation without breaking a sweat? What time shall we take tea?
I would welcome your thoughts. [...] All of you. Even the stupid ones.
Filtered Private to Head Mentors
This section of the post has also been password-protected by Dame Serena: beta-level clearance (ie, the head mentors) is required to view
I think we need to have a meeting about this. Photograph, your powers will come in useful here: if you could recall everything you read over that period and note any inconsistencies that might arise? I can also give you access to my personal correspondence with Axiom that might help shed some light on... something. Anything.
Frankly, I'm at a loss. Suggestions?
Furthermore, this post has been password-protected by Dame Serena: theta-level clearance (ie, all mentors) is required to view
I've received a troubling report from my little urchins in the know, out in the field. It would be prudent to keep it between us for now, for reasons that will become apparent - as such, the best time to discuss it would seem to be now, while the students are away. I don't need to tell you that all of this needs to be kept confidential, but I will do anyway: all of this needs to be kept confidential.
The Axiom members who came to visit us for Ranking Week were -without exception- charming, talented and professional. With, it now transpires, one exception. The woman known to us as Sweetleaf is not known as Sweetleaf to Axiom. In fact, she appears not to be known as anything to Axiom: she was not sent under their auspices or with their approval. Quite what this means to us at the minute isn't clear, but I'd be lying if I said that it didn't concern me. To hide in plain sight like that, and to fool so many people at once... Admittedly the sting is also personal; nobody was fooled more thoroughly than I by this imposter. Our next questions are: where do we go from here? Can Axiom be trusted? Have we just placed our students into the hands of dangerous and shadowy persons who can hoodwink our greatest posthuman organisation without breaking a sweat? What time shall we take tea?
I would welcome your thoughts. [...] All of you. Even the stupid ones.
Filtered Private to Head Mentors
This section of the post has also been password-protected by Dame Serena: beta-level clearance (ie, the head mentors) is required to view
I think we need to have a meeting about this. Photograph, your powers will come in useful here: if you could recall everything you read over that period and note any inconsistencies that might arise? I can also give you access to my personal correspondence with Axiom that might help shed some light on... something. Anything.
Frankly, I'm at a loss. Suggestions?
Apr. 1st, 2011
.006.
The first student to bring me a personal item from Professor Cole's home before noon will gain four places on their official Ranking.
I will leave it up to you to decide if this is an April Fool or not.
I will leave it up to you to decide if this is an April Fool or not.
Mar. 23rd, 2011
.005.
As you know, Ranking Week is coming and it is my job to prepare you freshmen for it. As Headmaster Yi so rightly said, you are all untempered coal right now. Ugly, lumpy, dirty, common coal. But coal and diamonds are both made from carbon. So how does a piece of coal become a flawless diamond, I hear you ask?
Pressure.
---
Additionally, I am available for training if any Seniors would like to remind yourselves what losing feels like ahead of the Rankings.
Pressure.
---
Additionally, I am available for training if any Seniors would like to remind yourselves what losing feels like ahead of the Rankings.
Feb. 3rd, 2011
.004.
[Mentors]
Has anyone given any further consideration to my suggestion that we overload the Obelisks, kill all of the students and start again with a fresh batch?
I'm just saying, this is the third time I've had my tea interrupted to deal with these children. You don't interrupt a woman's tea. We were so much better behaved in my Tournament.
Has anyone given any further consideration to my suggestion that we overload the Obelisks, kill all of the students and start again with a fresh batch?
I'm just saying, this is the third time I've had my tea interrupted to deal with these children. You don't interrupt a woman's tea. We were so much better behaved in my Tournament.
Jan. 30th, 2011
.003.
Students of Camulus, please attend carefully.
As you may already be aware, the mentors and staff of the Academy have conducted a comprehensive investigation into yesterday’s Obelisk misfire during the Principles of Combat class. I understand that many of you have been disturbed by this turn of events, and I shall not insult your collective intelligence by pretending that such concerns as you may have are unfounded: however, with that said, our studies have concluded that the accident occurred as the result of a ‘fluke malfunction’ within the obelisk system. We have no evidence that suggests an outside party was involved, and as such will be treating the incident as nothing more than a series of unfortunate events. Rest assured that we will be monitoring the situation very closely, including casting a more watchful eye on the activity of the Obelisks themselves - but battle classes will proceed as normal.
Perhaps some amongst you will be disappointed by the lack of conspiracy theory confirmation or determined malevolence on the part of the Huntress - however, I am here to inform you that Professor Pulkkien has the full support of the Headmaster, the mentors [...] and of myself personally: this is a distinction that I do not make lightly. I hope that will put any and all speculation to bed regarding her involvement: it should also be noted that comments have been made publicly by numerous students that have been entirely inappropriate. I am willing to chalk up anything said so far as comments generated in ‘the heat of the moment’, but they end today. I will not ask twice.
Anyone with further questions may address me privately, and I will attempt to assuage what fears you have. Otherwise, studies will continue as ever they have.
- Britannia.
As you may already be aware, the mentors and staff of the Academy have conducted a comprehensive investigation into yesterday’s Obelisk misfire during the Principles of Combat class. I understand that many of you have been disturbed by this turn of events, and I shall not insult your collective intelligence by pretending that such concerns as you may have are unfounded: however, with that said, our studies have concluded that the accident occurred as the result of a ‘fluke malfunction’ within the obelisk system. We have no evidence that suggests an outside party was involved, and as such will be treating the incident as nothing more than a series of unfortunate events. Rest assured that we will be monitoring the situation very closely, including casting a more watchful eye on the activity of the Obelisks themselves - but battle classes will proceed as normal.
Perhaps some amongst you will be disappointed by the lack of conspiracy theory confirmation or determined malevolence on the part of the Huntress - however, I am here to inform you that Professor Pulkkien has the full support of the Headmaster, the mentors [...] and of myself personally: this is a distinction that I do not make lightly. I hope that will put any and all speculation to bed regarding her involvement: it should also be noted that comments have been made publicly by numerous students that have been entirely inappropriate. I am willing to chalk up anything said so far as comments generated in ‘the heat of the moment’, but they end today. I will not ask twice.
Anyone with further questions may address me privately, and I will attempt to assuage what fears you have. Otherwise, studies will continue as ever they have.
- Britannia.
Jan. 24th, 2011
.002.
All right, listen up. Classes have started now, and that means that whatever you think you've been getting away with last week stops. This is not a holiday -- or a "vacation", if your adolescent minds can't understand that. This is not a spa resort. This is a training camp where we will teach you all how to mortally injure and mutilate your 'friends' and the people you live with. We will teach you to exploit weaknesses, mitigate strengths and treat your closest allies as nothing more than the disposable tools you are.
You will not survive this process unscathed. Some of you will be made stronger by this, some of you will break. I heartily endorse the words of the Director, and perhaps even advocate taking her speech even further: for the champions, life is short. For those who fall on the path to championship, life is even shorter. But you know this - none of you are here without being made fully aware that, in the course of your studies and career here, you will be expected to use lethal force.
In light of this, my seminar on offer to you seniors this semester is entitled "Accepting the Inevitable: How to Come to Terms With Your Imminent Demise". This seminar will involve theoretical and practical elements, and I strongly recommend that all seniors this year attend. A man or woman only finds out who they are in the moments directly preceding their death - and I speak from personal experience on that count. A small number of brave and exceptional juniors may approach me to seek permission to take part, but do not raise your hopes unduly. My standards, as you must be aware by now, are exacting.
You will not survive this process unscathed. Some of you will be made stronger by this, some of you will break. I heartily endorse the words of the Director, and perhaps even advocate taking her speech even further: for the champions, life is short. For those who fall on the path to championship, life is even shorter. But you know this - none of you are here without being made fully aware that, in the course of your studies and career here, you will be expected to use lethal force.
In light of this, my seminar on offer to you seniors this semester is entitled "Accepting the Inevitable: How to Come to Terms With Your Imminent Demise". This seminar will involve theoretical and practical elements, and I strongly recommend that all seniors this year attend. A man or woman only finds out who they are in the moments directly preceding their death - and I speak from personal experience on that count. A small number of brave and exceptional juniors may approach me to seek permission to take part, but do not raise your hopes unduly. My standards, as you must be aware by now, are exacting.
Jan. 16th, 2011
.001.
Hello freshmen...
My name is Britannia, and I will be your head mentor for the next four years at Camulus Academy. Unlike the simpering princesses who may already have introduced themselves to you, I make no apologies for the ordeal you are about to endure. I neither want nor need to be your friend - to that end, you do not require knowledge of my real name, my powers, my tragic backstory or my unique personality foibles. All you need to do is be quiet, listen and do as you are told for the next one thousand, four hundred and sixty one days. Only then will you survive this school unscathed, ready for whatever future is in store for you as an honoured and majestic defender of global purity, decency and other bizarre abstract concepts.
You may not like me. You may actively hate me. You may fear the very mention of my name. All of these are time-honoured responses, but let us make one thing clear: though we will never be close, I have chosen to dedicate my life to the honing and improvement of your natural talents. I will give every single one of you the time and effort that you deserve, and I expect the same in return. If I feel like I am wasting my time with a student, said student will very quickly discover that there are very few things I value more highly than my time, and I shall seek recompense accordingly, swiftly and without mercy. Endeavour not to be that student, freshmen, and all shall be well.
I will endeavour to be meeting with you all over the next two weeks, to get an idea of your strengths and, far more importantly, your weaknesses. Your individual disciplinary mentors will be working more closely with you than I, but a good head mentor has a thorough grounding in all walks of battle at this school and so I shall be popping up both whenever I can and when you least expect it. I would politely ask that you give the rest of your mentors -despite their obvious and tragic shortcomings- the same awe and respect you will inevitably afford to me.
It remains, then, only for me to bid you as warm a welcome as I can muster, and I extend an invitation to go out and explore everything that the Academy has to offer you as future champions, servants of Axiom and epic failures alike. Whilst you explore, why not take the time to get to know your fellow freshmen? After all, three in ten of you -through a combination of permanent disfigurement, mental unhingement and mysterious disappearance- will not survive to see the end of your fourth year. I encourage you all to find the weakest amongst you and ruthlessly exploit their nerves for your own advancement. If you cannot determine the weakest competitor, passing a mirror should help immeasurably.
See you on campus! x
My name is Britannia, and I will be your head mentor for the next four years at Camulus Academy. Unlike the simpering princesses who may already have introduced themselves to you, I make no apologies for the ordeal you are about to endure. I neither want nor need to be your friend - to that end, you do not require knowledge of my real name, my powers, my tragic backstory or my unique personality foibles. All you need to do is be quiet, listen and do as you are told for the next one thousand, four hundred and sixty one days. Only then will you survive this school unscathed, ready for whatever future is in store for you as an honoured and majestic defender of global purity, decency and other bizarre abstract concepts.
You may not like me. You may actively hate me. You may fear the very mention of my name. All of these are time-honoured responses, but let us make one thing clear: though we will never be close, I have chosen to dedicate my life to the honing and improvement of your natural talents. I will give every single one of you the time and effort that you deserve, and I expect the same in return. If I feel like I am wasting my time with a student, said student will very quickly discover that there are very few things I value more highly than my time, and I shall seek recompense accordingly, swiftly and without mercy. Endeavour not to be that student, freshmen, and all shall be well.
I will endeavour to be meeting with you all over the next two weeks, to get an idea of your strengths and, far more importantly, your weaknesses. Your individual disciplinary mentors will be working more closely with you than I, but a good head mentor has a thorough grounding in all walks of battle at this school and so I shall be popping up both whenever I can and when you least expect it. I would politely ask that you give the rest of your mentors -despite their obvious and tragic shortcomings- the same awe and respect you will inevitably afford to me.
It remains, then, only for me to bid you as warm a welcome as I can muster, and I extend an invitation to go out and explore everything that the Academy has to offer you as future champions, servants of Axiom and epic failures alike. Whilst you explore, why not take the time to get to know your fellow freshmen? After all, three in ten of you -through a combination of permanent disfigurement, mental unhingement and mysterious disappearance- will not survive to see the end of your fourth year. I encourage you all to find the weakest amongst you and ruthlessly exploit their nerves for your own advancement. If you cannot determine the weakest competitor, passing a mirror should help immeasurably.
See you on campus! x
